If you would’ve met me my first year of college (or even in high school for that matter) the title of this blog would make perfect sense; however, coming from a Christian, this may sound confusing and somewhat heretical. I want to take a moment and just review some of the common symptoms of having a few too many. You may experience things like elated happiness, a confidence boost, seeing things that aren't really there, and possibly throwing up. I know this list is short, but it’s these very symptoms that have led me to the conclusion that I want to get drunk.

In Ephesians 5:18 it says, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” Ok, so now maybe you see where I am headed with this, don't get drunk on alcohol but instead be filled with the spirit! If you’re like me, you may have grown up in a church which talked about the Holy Spirit but ignored the importance of living by that Spirit day to day; and even more so, ignored the importance of being filled with that Spirit.   

Over the past few weeks, God has brought me to a place where I am thirsty for the Spirit. Through brokenness and frustration, I can now see the importance of relying on the Spirit to empower every area of my life. Things which used to make my heart uncomfortable such as prophecy, speaking in tongues, miracles, and hearing the voice of God are now the very things I find my soul seeking. Its not that I just want to see the miraculous and supernatural; I just desire to be what God made me to be, a temple of the Holy Spirit. 

I am convinced that the Holy Spirit is like the gasoline in our cars. Without Him we won’t go anywhere. The Spirit minsters to us in all areas of our lives; He is an Encourager, a Teacher, a Comforter, and so much more.  Galatians 5:22-23 says, “The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Is your life full of these things? To be honest, most days, mine isn't. Most days I choose striving and trying to work these things up in my life when God is simply holding out a glass and saying “have your fill.”  

In order to get drunk we have to drink. I know that last sentence is simple, but it is also profound; are we drinking deeply of the Spirit, or just sipping slowly? Are we asking to be filled? We don't have because we don't ask. Remember the symptoms from above? Let’s compare those to the Spirit. When we drink of the Spirit we will have more than fleeting happiness. We’ll have joy and the confidence to proclaim Jesus as Lord. We’ll begin to hear and see the unseen, and if we drink enough we will throw up the power of the Spirit over all those in our realm of influence! 

I don't know what its going to look like but I want to get drunk. I don't want to do and see the things that I can do in the natural. I want to look to the unseen and trust God to do what only He can do. Will you join me in this spiritual party? We were made to be filled. In fact, God said that rivers of life will flow out of our very hearts. I will leave you with the words of Jesus to His disciples after his resurrection:

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”  And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

John 20:21-23


We got to have some great times of worship with our whole squad at our month 4 debrief.

When I was young I used to be so scared to sleep alone in my room. I remember nights just laying there trying to decided If I should get out of my bed and sneak into my parents room. Often times I wouldn't even wake them, I would just stand next to their bed, it was enough to just be in their presence. 

Last night I took some time to just listen to God. God still speaks to his children, it says in his word that his children know His voice and they follow it. God brought me back to a memory of my father, a few minutes resting in the though left me weeping, not tears of sadness or hurt, but simply awe and gratitude. In that moment God showed me in such a unique and personal way a glimpse of the love he has for me, he called me his child.
 

My dad and I. Thanks Dad for loving me and just bieng an awesome father! God has blessed me!

One cherished memory I have as a child is being tucked into bed by my mom and dad. It was such a safe place, it was a place I knew I was loved, Its that place God brought me to last night. Laying on the floor, arms outstretched, it was almost as if I was in-between the cool sheets again, and my father was there; both of them actually.

I can remember the scent of my father, I can remember the feel of a days old beard tickling my face as we embraced, I can remember feeling loved and safe.  I am so blessed to have a father who loved me; God used his love to show me a glimpse of the love he has for me. I felt like a little boy again, not worried about the day to come, not trying to earn my fathers love, just resting in the secure embrace of my Dad’s arms. 

Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. Jesus wants us to be his little sons and daughters, he wants us to just stay in his warm embrace. God says that he will never leave us or forsake us, so in the dark of the night we have no need to fear. He is always present so we need not sneak into his room, we simply can rest in him. 

Do you feel this way with God? Do you feel safe in his arms? Do you feel like his child, his beloved son or daughter? God is a good father, and a good father speaks to his children. Ask God to speak to you and then be still and listen, you will be in awe at what he has to say. Blessings and love in Christ.

Ministry Update

We just arrived yesterday at our new ministry location in Phenom Penh, Cambodia. Our ministry this month will be teaching english to students during the afternoon, and then working specifically with a group of 10 young men in the evenings. We are working with a husband and wife who have set up a dorm to house students from the surrounding villages who do not have the money to afford both housing and school. Their goal is to house young men who are passionate about their education, and begin to love and disciple them while they are living in the dorm. Two of the young men have received Christ, pray that the other 8 would come to faith as well. Cambodia is 92% Buddhist, 4% muslim, and 2% christian. It is an open country however there are some restrictions on how you can share the gospel here. It is the rainy season here so for the past few days the water has flooded the streets, pray that Gods love and forgiveness would do the same, pray for boldness for the team that we would speak of Christ as we ought to!
 

We got to eat some Tarantula for lunch! A big moral boost for sure!

You know how people sometimes say that life is not a sprint but a marathon? I know what it feels like to run a marathon, and I also have a bit of an understanding about life and I guess I have really been reflecting on this whole idea of my life being a race. I guess that it makes sense, I mean the trip I am on is called the World Race, and in Hebrews 12, Paul refers to the christian life as a race.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-2

I am going to take a few minutes and just be completely honest with everyone, if this life is a marathon I feel like I have been stuck running miles 13 through 24 for the past few years. Let me explain a bit about what I mean. In a marathon there are a few stages that you go through. The first half, or 13 miles is relatively easy, your legs feel strong, you have energy and are usually moving at a good pace. After mile 13 comes the hard miles, the middle miles. During these middle miles you might find yourself questioning your sanity and wondering if you have enough to make it to the finish. These miles can be full of ups and downs, strange pains, and exhaustion, but you have to press through these in order to experience the joy set before you, the finish. 

I guess I have grown a bit weary in this race, I have become a bit confused as to why I am running, I started looking down at the pavement instead of looking up to the goal. Can anyone relate to me in this? For most of my walk with Jesus I have been striving, the joy I have experienced has been fleeting at best, and in those moments when I feel myself growing closer to reaching the 26.2 mark, I abruptly find myself back at mile 13, faced with the daunting task of pressing through the pain all over again.  

There was a quote that I read once that went something like this, “If running doesn’t hurt, then you’re doing it wrong.” Subconsciously, I guess I have brought this same mindset into my walk with Jesus. I keep telling myself that men have been put in prison, stoned, shot, and worse all in the name of Jesus, and my little problems don't even compare to those. At the same time I find myself wondering what Jesus meant when he said that his burden is light and his yoke is easy. I believe those words, but I just find it hard to experience them in my life. 

Dean Karnazes, an ultra marathon runner, once said these words and I feel they apply well here: “Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”   In the above scripture God tells us to run the race with perseverance, fixing our eyes on Jesus, and considering all the pain that he went through. I will not stop running this race, I might struggle at times with pain in each step, I might have to crawl, but I wont give up. There is a finish line ahead, I don’t see it yet, I feel like I might not get there, but the truth is with every passing breath I am getting closer. You finish a race one step at a time, life is the same, moment by moment, day by day until we reach the goal and obtain the prize...Jesus Christ. Stay strong, press on, live for the eternal reward. Blessings.

My grandparents and my Mom after the Green Bay Cellcom Marthon last year.
 

Ministry Update

Even though I have really been fighting some internal struggles this week God has been really moving in the bars here in Chiangmai. Just last night one of the girls Noi who works in the bar put her faith in Christ! Pray that she would chose to join the Change Program to learn new job skills and also be mentored in her new faith. The bar street has been really empty this past few weeks! This has been one of our prayers and God has definitely answered. Some nights when we go out there are bars filled with women but no customers. Pray that this would continue and that the bars would have to change their business. The Love Acts ministry is in the process of opening a home for four young boys who need care. They are children of one of the women in the bar, but she doesn't have the money to support them. Pray that men and women would come to help out with this new ministry and also the ministry that is already established in the bars. Love Acts is in need of financial donations too for the new house and also the living cost for the boys so If you would like to be a part of that let me know! Both of the girls that were working in the bar that my team was in are no longer there and there are no girls left in that bar. One of them Kimmy, is going to school, the other girl Fa Im not sure what she is doing. Be in prayer that both of these girls stay out of the bars. 

Playing pool with some children who work around the bars selling flowers each night.

In the book of Acts as Paul is passing through Athens it says that his spirit was provoked within him  because the city was full of idols, being in Thailand I am getting a glimpse of what this means. As we drove from the city of Bangkok to Chang Mai we passed by one golden statue that was close to 100ft tall. In Chang Mai on every street corner is a Buddhist temple, out front of most restaurants you find small portions of food left for the gods. This definitely not home where Christianity has found a solid foothold and churches are as commonplace as Starbucks.

My time here in Thailand this far has been full of heartbreak, hatred, and hope. My heart is broken when I look into the eyes of women selling their bodies simply to provide for a child at home, or because its one of the top paying jobs that they can find. I feel hatred at times when I see men trying to find fulfillment in sex, and when I see people bowing before golden statues. I feel hope when I tell little girls in the bars selling flowers that they are beautiful, or when I give one of our friends in the bar a hug, a pure hug that says I love you because you are my sister in Christ and He wants you to come back home. 

A night ago I approached a woman working in the bar that just had a look of hopelessness on her face. She put on a smile as I walked up, probably not because she was happy, more likely she viewed me as a potential customer and knew that she needed the money. I introduced myself, played a few games of pool with her, and talked a bit about her job. As we talked she said, “You know what I do don't you?” I replied, “Yes”, she said, “Its hard.” I pointed to her heart and asked her if it hurt she nodded in agreement. Put yourself in her place, a 12 year old son at home, no husband, and every night the expectation that she will find herself sleeping with a man who cares nothing for her, who just wants to feed an addiction, who needs to bow down to his Idol, sex. 

Paul's heart was provoked within him when he was in a city filled with Idols because he understood the implications of such worship. First the God of all glory, Jesus Christ, the only true God was not being worshiped and this is reason to be filled with righteous anger. Second I believe Paul understood what this meant for the people of that city, he understood that everybody worships something. The main cause of sin apart from the fall is worship. We all worship something, but we were made to worship one thing, Jesus. When give our worship to something less we fall victim to all sorts of sin.

People here worship golden images, and false hopes in a god that doesn't exist. Men travel here to worship their idol of sex. Women here sell their bodies some out of desperation, and some chasing the dream that money will fulfill. At home we worship comfort, security, religion, family, the list could go on and on. In 1John the book ends with these words, Little children keep yourself from Idols. Are you fully worshiping our God and savior, or have idols crept in? True life is found in a heart fully given and resting in the grace of Jesus Christ. Cast down your idols and raise your life as living sacrifice to one true God, Jesus. Blessings to all of you.  

We got to go elaphant riding the other day! A fun experiece for sure!

In Gods word it says that whatever has overcome you to that you are a slave. This month In Thailand I am surrounded by slaves. I can take a 10 minute walk from the building I am living in a be submersed in slavery. There are men here anywhere from their 20’s through their 60’s traveling across the world to pay for sex, hiding secrets from their families. There are girls here selling their bodies so that they can give money to their families. I can promise you they don't want to be doing what they are doing, I see it in their eyes. Slavery is alive and well today and I am in the middle of this battle.

This month I am working with a ministry called Love Acts. The basic premise of our mission is to go out to the bars and to love. We love the women, men, bar owners, children, tourists, and anyone else that crosses our path. The mission is more than just passing out the gospel, not that its bad to preach the word, but we try to live like Paul did with the Thessalonians. “So, being thus tenderly and affectionately desirous of you, we continued to share with you not only God's good news (the Gospel) but also our own lives as well, for you had become so very dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

I am so blessed and excited to be a part of this ministry! Monday through Thursday we go out to the bars and spend time with people there and even after two nights we have already made some strong connections. The women in these bars are used to men using them either to make money, or for sex, they are not used to a man simply loving them because they are made in Gods image! 

At the start of this I mentioned that slavery is alive and well here in Chang Mai, and slavery is also where you live. It looks different here than at home but we only have have two choices, either we are slaves to righteousness or we are slaves to sin. Since Jesus called me to follow him by faith I am a slave to righteousness, I have been bought with a price, the costly currency of His blood shed on Calvary. What are you a slave to? God and his kingdom, or the world and its fleeting desires and passions. Blessings in Christ!

Please order this video if possible! It is an amazing and eye opening documentary of the sex trafficking industry in our world today! I believe everyone NEEDS to see this!  http://nefariousdocumentary.com/

A few weeks ago my team and I spent a few days in Granada, Nicaragua doing a team debrief. Maybe you remember a mention of a man named Moses who we prayed for and saw the spirit of God come upon. Anyway these past few days we were in Granada again preparing for our flight to Thailand, and also going through team changes.

If there is any confusion about the team changes that I keep referring to let me clear it up! The world race is about change, its about being pushed out of comfort zones, its about growing closer to Jesus and often this growth is not easy. Anyway our squad of 43 people also consists of 3 squad leaders which have been leading us the past few months. After this month these three will be heading home and so three new leaders from within in the squad have been raised up. Due to these three becoming squad leaders, three new team leaders had to be raised up, and all of the teams experienced some big changes. I am with two of my old teammates and have three new teammates to learn and grow from! Im excited to see what God has for us!

Anyway back to Moses! Two weeks ago we were blessed to meet Moses and be part of God moving in his life. We prayed over him, spent until 2am listening to his life story and sharing with him about the love of God towards him. We were not supposed to return to Granada, but because of limited housing in Managua we were blessed to stay a few nights. When I found out we were coming back all I could think of was finding Moses.

The first two nights there was no sign of Moses. I passed through the area where I first met him when he approached and asked, “What do you need,” in an attempt to sell me drugs. I walked the streets with eyes pealed, and only saw a few look-a-likes who upon closer inspection were not the culprit. I asked God “Please let me see Moses,” God answered!

An Hour before we were leaving I found myself stoping at a connivence store to spend the rest of my cordoba before flying out. I paid the cashier, stepped out of the door looked up and was face to face with Moses! Our eyes met each other with surprise and then we embraced like old friends. 
 

In his typical response Moses said, “Woooow!”  He began to tell me of the change that he has been experiencing. He described how he is in the process of getting the paper work finished for a job at a local restaurant. He stated that he was free from using drugs. He proclaimed that he was CHANGED! I walked with him back to the hostel to reunite him with others who were with him two weeks prior. 

As he sat in a plush chair in our hostel, with a smile stuck on his face and stated, “Jesus is happy!” I smiled back knowing that our second meeting was not some whimsical motion of chance, it was divine, it was known before the foundations of the world! There is rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents. God has chosen Moses, pray he will be a light in Granada! Jesus is happy, His kingdom is advancing!

Right now I am on a plane to Thailand to work in the bars fighting against the stronghold of sex trafficking. Pray God will shine so bright in our hearts, pray against discouragement, pray for freedom for Gods children. We are going to make God smile, with Him we are going to change the world! Blessings in Christ! 

“Will you trust me in this moment?” This is what God has been speaking to me lately. Maybe many of you are like me and tend to get stuck in the muck from your past, or seem overwhelmed at the narrow path that is stretched out before you, but I believe God has made us for this moment. 

Matthew 6:34 says, “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.” I would like to suggest that we might not even worry about the next hour of our day because the one we are in now has enough worries of its own. Im not saying that we never look to the future or the past, just don't miss this moment. 

This life can become drudgery when we become consumed with the what ifs and maybes of the past and the future. What if I don't get married? What if one day I fall away from the faith? What if Im not saved? What if I wouldn't have said what I said to that person? What if I fail as a pastor? What if! What if! What if! Do you see what an utter waste of time this is. Do you know satan wants you consumed in the past in the future because then you will miss what God has for you NOW! You cant change the past, you can shape the future, but it all depends on the now. 

I hear God saying to me, “Will you trust me in this moment?” I heard Him yesterday when our squad of 40 some people was rearranged into all new teams. I heard Him the day before when I was able to minster to some men on the road dressed as women, totally confused as to who they were. I heard Him last week while praying for a man in his early twenties dying of a kidney disease from working in the chemical saturated, water deficient working conditions of the sugar cain fields in Nicaragua. I heard Him a few days later when that very young man breathed his last. I hear Him now as we head into a 60 hour travel day to Thailand, leading a completely new group of people. He is saying “Will you trust me in this moment?”

The christian life is a moment by moment dependence upon the promises of Jesus until we arrive home. Don't overcomplicate your life, don't miss the moment. Make the choice to fully trust and believe Jesus in this moment, right now. Will you trust Him? Blessings and love to everyone.
 

 In the back of a pickup on the way to ministry in Nicaragua!
 

In the ministry of John the baptist there is a point where he questions if Jesus was the one who was predicted to come in the scriptures of old. John had seen the spirit descend on Jesus, he heard the father say “This is my son with whom I am well pleased”, and yet he asks if this is one the one whom was to come or if he should look for someone else. Why does John ask this question? I believe he found himself in a place where his exceptions did not meet his present circumstances. John found himself in prison. 

Do you ever relate to John? Do you ever feel like your experience with Jesus just isn't hitting the mark? I often have asked myself this question, I ask where are the miracles, where is the feeling that Jesus is right here, I find myself asking is this the christian life or is there something more to come? I question my experiences and walk with God because my expectations have not been met. 

This journey thus far has not been what I expected. I expected the greatest struggles to come from opposition from the world, they have come through relationships on my team. I expected to be worn out from relentless ministry everyday and yet I find I have more time on my hands here than I often did at home. I expected to be able to share the gospel easily and clearly and yet in my limited spanish often all I can ask is “Do you believe in Jesus” and maybe share a verse from my bilingual Bible. I expected spirituality to flow naturally, yet I find myself in need for intentionality just to keep my eyes on Christ. Just like John my expectations of this trip do not meet my present circumstances.

Jesus answered John’s question and doubt about if he was the messiah by referring to the old testament predictions and also the irrefutable evidence of his work on the earth. He says, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have the good news preached to them.” Maybe Jesus has a different view of what ministry looks like, maybe He has a different view of what life in him looks like. Maybe I am the one who needs to lay down my expectations and just walk by his spirit.

I believe that Jesus would answer my questions about if this is really what ministry on the race is supposed to look like or if I should look for something else in this way. Go and tell Pat what you hear and what you see: the spiritually dead are raised to life in Christ, a man living in the streets his whole life addicted to drugs has found true freedom in Christ, a brother and sister in the Lord struggling to love one another now have a deep and meaningful relationship, children searching for recyclables in a trash heap are being loved and cared for, my grace is taking root deep in the hearts of my children, and my glory is being proclaimed in 11 different countries.
 

God brought this man moses in the middle of the group freedom from his addiction through Christ in the streets of Granada! He was left laying the street after we prayed and when he woke he just kept saying "Whoa, what happened?" He went on to share his life story and stated that he had never shared those things with anyone before! Pray his faith grows deep! Praise God!

Jesus is changing the world though us! Does he need me, of course not, but he is using me! Jesus said tell John this is what you see and hear, and I am telling you Christ is on the move through his broken and often timid children! This trip might not meet my expectations and that is a good thing, Jesus said that He can do more than we ask or we even think and this is exactly what He is up to! Thanks for being a part of this with me. May the grace a peace of God overflow in you hearts through our awesome savior Jesus Christ! Blessings.

So its been awhile since I have written and for that I apologize! Anyway we arrived in Nicaragua a little over a week ago. We spent the first few days of our time here in Granada in what we call a debrief. Our coaches from the states came and spent time with each team working through and reviewing our progress after the first few months. We had some good fellowship, prayer, worship and outreach in the city of Granada with the 40 plus other people on our squad.

Last Wednesday we made a 4 hour drive to our new ministry location in Chinadega, Nicaragua. When we arrived it was a awesome surprise to find out that we will be sharing our living arrangements and also our ministry with a group college age brothers and sisters from the states. They are currently on a 4 month mission through AIM known as Passport. Its been good making new friendships and having fellowship with them. 
 

This is where we are staying this month. We have been seeing lava coming from the volcano pictured! Pretty awesome!

We haven't really gotten into ministry yet but tomorrow we will jump in. It sounds like we will be doing a lot of painting and physical work, and also visiting people in the local communities. 

God has given me a new direction while on this trip, a direction I think he wants me to follow after the race. Before leaving for this trip my grandpa told me that I had to go on this trip to find out what I was going to do with my life. The first month in El Salvador a pastor that we worked with named Gerber told me that God told him I was going to be a pastor. Since then I can see those words coming true, I have had plenty of opportunities to preach and share the word since then and I have loved it! Please pray for direction as I look into seminary for when I return home in December!